I know this has to hurt you, but you’re not the only one hurting. I spent two years at your house, growing and trying to discover who i was and where i was supposed to be. I thought it was there. But i was wrong. I belonged back with my family and i’m glad i came back. I’m glad we had to grow apart and see things differently for me to be able where i am now. I was suffering, my soul and spirit was dying. i love you guys so much and i can’t just throw away the memories i had with you all. But they weren’t all good. I remember nights i cried myself to sleep because of how i couldn’t be the real me around you. I could have actually, but you would have told me i was wrong and that i was weird and that i had to change because that wasn’t how i was supposed to be. I will forver cherish the good times we had.
But it is time to say goodbye. It will hurt me more than anything to send you the letter. And i know it will hurt you. But you have brought me down so much in the last year that it is unforgivable. You don’t cause a person to go into depression(again) when you love them. You say you love me but yet you constantly make me feel like shit and i can’t handle that anymore. You can’t be in my life anymore. I know you don’t approve of the way i am. You have said it yourself about other people. You can say that you’ll love me no matter what and that you always want me to be myself, but i know you better than that. I was with you for almost every minute of everyday for two years, you can’t fool me anymore.
I am struggling with what to do with myself and my life because you always told me who to be, what to wear, what to like, and how to live for two years. I didn’t get a say. You might say i did, but i didn’t. You made me get rid of my best friends because of something they did, a simple thing. But yet you’re friends with people like them, worse. And you say you’re “helping” them. But if it wasn’t about helping them you would still have them around. You broke an amazing friendship i will never get back, and i despise you for that.
After you said i could choose what i wanted you made me do the opposite. That broke me.
“If you love someone, set them free. And if it’s meant to be, they’ll come back.”
I’m not coming back. This is goodbye forever. I love you all, and nanny and pappy and Granny Dot. You may never read this, but if you do you’ll know. Have a great life.
-Dazsha
Dazsha Mae 